The Barber's Paradox: Is it all up to you?
The inspiring story of a barber and his sultan
🏷️ Categories: Happiness, Social relationships, Life lessons.
In a distant village of an emirate, there lived a skilled barber named Zayd.
One day, the sultan, concerned about the shortage of barbers in his emirate, decreed a peculiar law: barbers should shave only those who could not shave themselves. Moreover, he imposed a strict rule: all inhabitants should always be clean-shaven, no matter the reasons behind it, whether for health, for beauty, or to demonstrate the absolute power of their will.
One day, the sultan, desiring a fresh shave, sent for Zayd to attend to him. After settling into the chair, Zayd could no longer contain his concern and expressed his dilemma to the sultan:
— My lord, in my city I am the only barber. According to your will, I cannot shave myself, for if I did, I would be in breach of your order that only those who cannot shave should be shaved by a barber. But if I don't shave myself, who should? I am the only barber in the village and no one can shave me, which would mean I would be disobeying your command, my lord.
What a misfortune for me, not being able to do anything to remedy this dilemma!
The story I tell you illustrates a famous paradox called “Russell's Paradox”, (1918) and holds a crucial life lesson, often ignored.
You will see...
The barber's paradox
Today we live in a similar story (although sometimes we don't even realize it).
We are told that we are the architects of our destiny, that it all depends on how hard we try and how obsessed we are with our goal. “If you don't make it, it's because you didn't work hard enough”, ‘While you sleep, someone else is working harder for the same thing you want’ or ‘Fake it till you make it’.
I'm sure you've heard these types of phrases.
For a while, those mantras motivate us. They make us get up too early, work too late, take on all the responsibility in the world as if we were heroes of a great story that others will one day tell. But here's the mistake.
The world does not revolve around you.
Yes, we need to take action. Yes, we are the engine of change in our lives. But believing that it's all up to us is like believing that Zayd could solve his dilemma on his own. It is an illusion that leads us to carry an impossible weight, one that, in the end, breaks us.
Nothing builds itself
Success, happiness, goals accomplished: none of these things are created out of nothing.
I once heard that a Stoic philosopher of classical times lost his family and all his possessions in a tragic fire that swept through his house. His response was, “I have lost nothing because all my possessions I carry with me.” It seems a powerful ideal: to live in such a way that nothing external affects you. But it is just that, an ideal, unattainable.
So much of what we achieve is tied to other people.
Think about winning as a team.
Zayd needed others to comply with the sultan's rules; we depend on those around us to make progress in any aspect of life. Think about it. Your career is not just a result of your skills or effort. Opportunities come from contacts, mentors and friends who recommend you. Even your ability to overcome challenges depends on context: the support of your community, the economic environment, political circumstances.
As the philosopher Epicurus argued, providing yourself with friends is a good thing because they will be there to help us in our moments of weakness, because they will come along. In childhood, in old age, in illness....
Believing that everything depends on us alone is not only utopian; it is dangerous.
It is like trying to build a castle without tools or help.
You can be very eager, but you won't get very far.
Independent, but interdependent
The human being is not an island, but rather an archipelago full of bridges.
By nature, we are social beings. Many of your achievements are the result of the support and influence of others. And it's not just about big things, it's an everyday thing. The selfless help of a stranger, a timely tip, meeting the right person
The barber's paradox teaches us that you are dependent on others at some point.
Trying to have absolute control over our life is like Zayd trying to shave himself under the sultan's rules: impossible. And that's okay. Our iterdependence is not a weakness; it's the quality that keeps us moving forward together.
So, yes, take action and strive.
Don't stand by and watch and don't resign yourself. Row in the direction you want to go, but don't get caught up in the illusion that success or happiness depends on you alone. Do not underestimate the importance of your family, your friends, your environment, of all those people who cross your path.
Row hard, but remember that the wind that drives your boat is in those around you.
✍️ Your turn: Who are the people and circumstances that have most influenced your progress so far? In my case they are, without a doubt, my family, some teachers, neighbors and a few special friends who have always been there.
💭 Quote of the day: “One of the best ways to make yourself happy is to make others happy.” Gretchen Rubin, The Happiness Project.
See you, take care! 👋
Great essay
It reminded me of two quotes about building on what others provide as stated by two of world’s greatest achievers.
“If I have seen further it is by standing on the shoulders of Giants.”
-Isaac Newton
“Each generation stands on the shoulders of those who have gone before them, just as I did as a young PhD student in Cambridge, inspired by the work of Isaac Newton, James Clerk Maxwell and Albert Einstein."
-Stephen Hawking
In any event, physically, emotionally or intellectually, humans need the support of others to excel, indeed, to survive. Stephen Hawking more-so, perhaps, than any other.
I do love metaphors. It is trough examples we humans start learning, in the first years of our lives. This is (trough telling histories) itself proof we humans are social beings.
Doing things in teams is, for me, like a never completely fulfilled dream - at least the matters of thinking. Our writings are translations (and if we do not take care, "the translator is the traitor"). Apart from being social driven beings, we are absolutely alone within our mental realm.
The barber tale has a "foreign" element to this equation, that being the figure of the sultan, the government and the laws. This context should not be an example for the application of our ethics, as the same absurd social rules of the metaphor do have examples in the real world.
My point is, let us not confuse the state with the social, as the ethics point us to what is right, whether it is not always the case with the laws.
As stated, we are interdependent with others, but "decisions" are absolutely individual.