Do I have the courage to try and fail?
Getting out of the comfort zone is not easy
🏷️ Categories: Lecciones de vida, Historias personales, Mejora continua.
I was climbing an imposing vertical wall, about to reach the top.
Everything was going well, until a slip caused me to lose my balance and fall.
It all started one day when some friends, climbing enthusiasts, invited me to a climbing wall in a nearby town. There I was, with my head bent upwards, contemplating that immense wall that rose defiantly in front of me. My friends were climbing with agility, confident, enjoying themselves, without a single stumble.
Heights give me vertigo. Just the thought of a fall turned my stomach.
“Don't worry, you have a harness. It's okay if you fall,” one of my friends encouraged me.
But the fear was stronger; I could hardly breathe from imagining myself up there.
I spent a long time watching from below. I watched as they, and the others in the climbing wall, climbed with determination until they rang the bell at the top. Then they dropped confidently, suspended by the harness and pulley that lowered them slowly and safely. They seemed to be having a great time. All of them, except me.
Some people seem to be born for challenges, for new experiences.
Am I one of them? I don't know.
Or maybe I want to be?
No more watching. It's time for action.
I put on my harness and helmet and started climbing, holding on tightly to the rocks. Even though I knew I was secure, the height terrified me. Every meter I climbed, the same question asked me: What am I doing up here?
Still, I kept climbing.
The wall became more difficult with each stretch, until a bad foothold caused my foot to slip. For an instant I was in the air. It was an indescribable sensation: my insides churned, a whirlwind of emotions. But, barely a second later, the pulley did its job. I felt a tug, it held me firmly and began to lower me slowly as my heart pounded.
—”You're almost there, Alvaro.”
—”Try again! ‘Give me a break... and then we'll talk.”
—”Hahaha, whatever you want.”
When I caught my breath, I decided to try again. And again. And again. After several failures, I finally reached the top. The pride of accomplishment completely erased the fear I had felt climbing. I descended with a smile from ear to ear, feeling as if I had conquered Everest, even though I had only climbed one of the easier routes in the climbing wall. It may not have been a big deal for an experienced climber, but for me it had been a monumental challenge.
The fear was great, but the satisfaction was enormous.
The scariest moment is always just before you start.
This experience made me realize something. There are not so many times when I deliberately put myself in situations that challenge my limits. There are many areas where I am still vulnerable, as was my fear of heights. We all face something new and, many times, fear of the unknown holds us back.
One of those climbs I was very afraid of was writing publicly.
It was easier not to try, to avoid the risk of a slip in the form of criticism or negative commentary. So I stayed in my comfort zone, where I knew I was competent, where “failure” was not an option because there were hardly any challenges anymore. But life eventually pushes us towards challenges, even when we try to resist. It was time to climb the “climbing wall” as a writer.
“There's only 1 life, so if I'm not going to climb the mountain that is writing a book right now, I can at least build muscle by climbing hills on the internet.”
At first, I wrote awkwardly and shyly, like taking the first steps up the climbing wall of the climbing wall. I didn't even want to read my own text after it had been published. “What will they say about my texts?” ‘What if nobody likes it?’, I wondered. Over time the situation changed, not that I had lost all insecurity, but because I began to see that being a beginner, clumsy and not getting it right the first time is the natural thing to do.
It is curious how, as we grow older, we seek to avoid being beginners.
Children, on the other hand, seem to live naturally with awkwardness and stumbling. They fall, get up, and learn. We adults stay too long on familiar ground, forgetting the thrill of growing through experimenting, discovering, playing, and making mistakes.
By accepting the initial fear and recognizing that I am just a learner, I can truly discover what I am capable of.
I didn't know if I would be able to climb the climbing wall all the way to the top, but every time I looked down I saw my friends cheering me on. I knew I was the clumsiest and I was afraid of falling even though I knew nothing would happen to me. I was a little embarrassed, but that's not a bad thing, not at all, didn't we start out crawling when we were babies?
The best cooks have burned dishes and cut themselves many times.
The best athletes have tripped, injured and fallen in crucial races.
The best painters started out sketching and sketching.
Every master was once an apprentice.
Whatever you do, the scariest moment is just before you start.
✍️ It's your turn: What fears are holding you back and how are you going to face them?
💭 Quote of the day: ″ When we overcome our fears, we discover a limitless, bottomless, inexhaustible well of passion.” Steven Pressfield, Do The Work.
See you next time! 👋
I have always been terrified of heights. I mean, forever. I remember my husband and son took me on a drive up Mount Diablo in Northern California, near our home. Just the drive up there made me cry. When we got to the parking lot, at the top, I wouldn't even get out of the car. Paralyzed with fear, I watched them walk out to the spot, where they could see all the way to Sacramento. They had binoculars. I knew I was missing something, but I just wanted to hide my eyes. A few years later, my husband and I were in a horrible car wreck. We could very easily have died. Instead, we walked away from it. I knew then, that it doesn't matter if you are on a mountain top, or on the freeway, driving to work. If it is your time, it is your time. If it is not, it is not. We drove to the Grand Canyon, a couple of years later, when I turned 50. I not only got out of the car, I walked to the edge of the Canyon, and looked straight down. I was overcome with the beauty of the view. I would not recommend that anyone else do that, because it is possible to fall, but for me, It was life-changing! Thank you for sharing your story of overcoming fear, Alvaro. I think your way is safer. And thanks for the opportunity to comment with my experience.
For years I suffered from horrible anxiety and due to some unhealed childhood trauma around being bullied, I couldn’t get over my self consciousness in many settings. My fear of failure and public ridicule kept me from pursuing what I really wanted to pursue and also hindered me in my career growth. At 40 I almost died from undiagnosed type one diabetes. I realized it was time to conquer these fears now because there was no guarantee there would be a “maybe later when” in which to pursue my interests. It also helped me overcome my fear of advocating for myself and for speaking up in public spaces. As a diabetic that is a skill you need to literally survive on a daily basis. I still suffer some anxiety but I’m working through it by taking action. Baby steps really do take you places. I am better able to ask for what I need and want in all areas of my life, and also am pursuing interests that I had let go. The way to get through the anxiety now is to focus on my love and enthusiasm for the thing (including myself, in the theme of self-advocacy) rather than the “what ifs” which my brain so readily supplies. Knowing that nothing will be as horrible as my near death experience, takes the edge off the fear of failure. I am singing in public again. I’m learning to lead groups in vocal improvisation, something I do not feel qualified to do but absolutely love. I started writing poetry again and sharing it in public at open mics. I read my poetry and sing songs in Spanish even though nobody at the open mics I go to speaks it. And I just decided (after being only a reader here on Substack for years) to start my own Substack in English and Spanish, despite the fact that I am not fluent in Spanish. It’s general theme? Finding joy in the everyday. (What you look for us what you see and the more you look for it the more you see it). I’ll be sharing my poetry and personal essays on how and where I’m finding that joy even while life’s challenges keep coming. I’m planning on launching fully after the new year.