I have always been terrified of heights. I mean, forever. I remember my husband and son took me on a drive up Mount Diablo in Northern California, near our home. Just the drive up there made me cry. When we got to the parking lot, at the top, I wouldn't even get out of the car. Paralyzed with fear, I watched them walk out to the spot, where they could see all the way to Sacramento. They had binoculars. I knew I was missing something, but I just wanted to hide my eyes. A few years later, my husband and I were in a horrible car wreck. We could very easily have died. Instead, we walked away from it. I knew then, that it doesn't matter if you are on a mountain top, or on the freeway, driving to work. If it is your time, it is your time. If it is not, it is not. We drove to the Grand Canyon, a couple of years later, when I turned 50. I not only got out of the car, I walked to the edge of the Canyon, and looked straight down. I was overcome with the beauty of the view. I would not recommend that anyone else do that, because it is possible to fall, but for me, It was life-changing! Thank you for sharing your story of overcoming fear, Alvaro. I think your way is safer. And thanks for the opportunity to comment with my experience.
Your experience was really touching, it really made me connect with you as I read your comment. It's beautiful to see how life's challenges and experiences can transform our deepest fears into moments of learning and overcoming. It is the way to grow on a personal level.
For years I suffered from horrible anxiety and due to some unhealed childhood trauma around being bullied, I couldn’t get over my self consciousness in many settings. My fear of failure and public ridicule kept me from pursuing what I really wanted to pursue and also hindered me in my career growth. At 40 I almost died from undiagnosed type one diabetes. I realized it was time to conquer these fears now because there was no guarantee there would be a “maybe later when” in which to pursue my interests. It also helped me overcome my fear of advocating for myself and for speaking up in public spaces. As a diabetic that is a skill you need to literally survive on a daily basis. I still suffer some anxiety but I’m working through it by taking action. Baby steps really do take you places. I am better able to ask for what I need and want in all areas of my life, and also am pursuing interests that I had let go. The way to get through the anxiety now is to focus on my love and enthusiasm for the thing (including myself, in the theme of self-advocacy) rather than the “what ifs” which my brain so readily supplies. Knowing that nothing will be as horrible as my near death experience, takes the edge off the fear of failure. I am singing in public again. I’m learning to lead groups in vocal improvisation, something I do not feel qualified to do but absolutely love. I started writing poetry again and sharing it in public at open mics. I read my poetry and sing songs in Spanish even though nobody at the open mics I go to speaks it. And I just decided (after being only a reader here on Substack for years) to start my own Substack in English and Spanish, despite the fact that I am not fluent in Spanish. It’s general theme? Finding joy in the everyday. (What you look for us what you see and the more you look for it the more you see it). I’ll be sharing my poetry and personal essays on how and where I’m finding that joy even while life’s challenges keep coming. I’m planning on launching fully after the new year.
Wow Rosemary, honestly, your journey is incredibly inspiring, I was so relieved to read that you got better from your experience with diabetes and you're slowly taking control of your anxiety. I had anxiety once in my life, a period that lasted about a month or two and it was terrible. I can totally understand how you feel.
I'm happy to know that you are going to launch with this project of writing in Spanish and English in Substack. I did something similar myself, since I am a native Spanish speaker and also write in both languages. I hope you do great and connect with wonderful people!
I have been looking at how you’ve organized your Substack re this, it’s been helpful! I’m still figuring out how to toggle between languages and get everyone subscribed to where they want to be. I enjoy reading your articles in Spanish first then reading English to see how I did with the comprehension. For Spanish only writers, I read in my iPhone and highlight and translate to see if I understood it right.
So glad you are here and that you took to being a writer on Substack. Most of us have stories to tell of mounting a mountain of fear and insecurity about ourselves. Essays like yours help so many people to know we are all alike in some ways. Onward!
If you think about it, we can all empathize with people who feel insecure and are awkward when they are starting out in something. We tend to settle into routines that we are already good at and forget when we were clumsy, kids and fell down, learned and experimented. Actually, I think we should keep that spirit of wanting to discover throughout our lives, because it is just the most beautiful thing to live.
I have always been terrified of heights. I mean, forever. I remember my husband and son took me on a drive up Mount Diablo in Northern California, near our home. Just the drive up there made me cry. When we got to the parking lot, at the top, I wouldn't even get out of the car. Paralyzed with fear, I watched them walk out to the spot, where they could see all the way to Sacramento. They had binoculars. I knew I was missing something, but I just wanted to hide my eyes. A few years later, my husband and I were in a horrible car wreck. We could very easily have died. Instead, we walked away from it. I knew then, that it doesn't matter if you are on a mountain top, or on the freeway, driving to work. If it is your time, it is your time. If it is not, it is not. We drove to the Grand Canyon, a couple of years later, when I turned 50. I not only got out of the car, I walked to the edge of the Canyon, and looked straight down. I was overcome with the beauty of the view. I would not recommend that anyone else do that, because it is possible to fall, but for me, It was life-changing! Thank you for sharing your story of overcoming fear, Alvaro. I think your way is safer. And thanks for the opportunity to comment with my experience.
Wow Sharon! :)
Your experience was really touching, it really made me connect with you as I read your comment. It's beautiful to see how life's challenges and experiences can transform our deepest fears into moments of learning and overcoming. It is the way to grow on a personal level.
For years I suffered from horrible anxiety and due to some unhealed childhood trauma around being bullied, I couldn’t get over my self consciousness in many settings. My fear of failure and public ridicule kept me from pursuing what I really wanted to pursue and also hindered me in my career growth. At 40 I almost died from undiagnosed type one diabetes. I realized it was time to conquer these fears now because there was no guarantee there would be a “maybe later when” in which to pursue my interests. It also helped me overcome my fear of advocating for myself and for speaking up in public spaces. As a diabetic that is a skill you need to literally survive on a daily basis. I still suffer some anxiety but I’m working through it by taking action. Baby steps really do take you places. I am better able to ask for what I need and want in all areas of my life, and also am pursuing interests that I had let go. The way to get through the anxiety now is to focus on my love and enthusiasm for the thing (including myself, in the theme of self-advocacy) rather than the “what ifs” which my brain so readily supplies. Knowing that nothing will be as horrible as my near death experience, takes the edge off the fear of failure. I am singing in public again. I’m learning to lead groups in vocal improvisation, something I do not feel qualified to do but absolutely love. I started writing poetry again and sharing it in public at open mics. I read my poetry and sing songs in Spanish even though nobody at the open mics I go to speaks it. And I just decided (after being only a reader here on Substack for years) to start my own Substack in English and Spanish, despite the fact that I am not fluent in Spanish. It’s general theme? Finding joy in the everyday. (What you look for us what you see and the more you look for it the more you see it). I’ll be sharing my poetry and personal essays on how and where I’m finding that joy even while life’s challenges keep coming. I’m planning on launching fully after the new year.
Wow Rosemary, honestly, your journey is incredibly inspiring, I was so relieved to read that you got better from your experience with diabetes and you're slowly taking control of your anxiety. I had anxiety once in my life, a period that lasted about a month or two and it was terrible. I can totally understand how you feel.
I'm happy to know that you are going to launch with this project of writing in Spanish and English in Substack. I did something similar myself, since I am a native Spanish speaker and also write in both languages. I hope you do great and connect with wonderful people!
I have been looking at how you’ve organized your Substack re this, it’s been helpful! I’m still figuring out how to toggle between languages and get everyone subscribed to where they want to be. I enjoy reading your articles in Spanish first then reading English to see how I did with the comprehension. For Spanish only writers, I read in my iPhone and highlight and translate to see if I understood it right.
It makes me very happy to know that my texts help you with your Spanish level :) ¡Ánimo aprendiendo español!
I also really like your categories index. I will have some running themes in mine too so it’s good to get ideas on set up.
Nice to hear that, try it :)
So glad you are here and that you took to being a writer on Substack. Most of us have stories to tell of mounting a mountain of fear and insecurity about ourselves. Essays like yours help so many people to know we are all alike in some ways. Onward!
Hi Oma! :)
If you think about it, we can all empathize with people who feel insecure and are awkward when they are starting out in something. We tend to settle into routines that we are already good at and forget when we were clumsy, kids and fell down, learned and experimented. Actually, I think we should keep that spirit of wanting to discover throughout our lives, because it is just the most beautiful thing to live.