No, you're not missing out on much

Kill FOMO and cultivate your resolutions

🏷️ Categories: Decision making and biases, Personal stories, Happiness, History

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Flowers, they were just flowers.

In 1637, tulips, which were considered a luxury item in Europe, began to increase exorbitantly in price in the Netherlands. The news that tulip bulbs were becoming more and more expensive spread far and wide. From November 1636 to February 1637 tulip bulbs increased in price by 1500% (Thompson, 2006).

Nobody wanted to miss the opportunity of the century.

It was a frantic race, the fear of being left behind in ‘the investment of the century’ was so powerful that many sold everything they had to chase the promise of fortune. But February 1637 arrived. On 5 February, a lot of 99 tulip bulbs sold for 90,000 guilders: it was the last great sale.

For comparison, 100 pigs cost 3000 guilders, but nobody wanted pigs.

The next day the bubble burst, nobody wanted tulips anymore and the price plummeted.

Many lost everything they had to follow a bright promise they heard.

A promise that did not come.

La vente des oignons de tulipe. Museum of Fine Arts of Rennes

The fear of missing out

The fear of missing out on a fortune by selling tulips should not sound so strange to us. If you think about it, it is the same feeling of missing out that we have sometimes had when we see how well others are doing and how much fun they are having. It's the fear of missing out, the Fear Of Missing Out (FOMO).

It has always existed, but it has never had so much scope to play against us.

In today's hyper-connected world, where social media is a constant showcase of what others are doing, the fear of missing out on what everyone else is enjoying is magnified (JWT, 2011). From the party you didn't go to to the new job that seems more promising than yours, if we don't limit it, FOMO creeps into every corner of our lives, reminding us of what we missed.

No matter how much you do, you'll never feel like you've achieved enough.

Why I quit (almost) all social networks

One day I looked at my usage time per app on my phone.

I held my hands to my head.

I was spending too much time constantly updating content. I was logging into every social network for no other purpose than to reload the page and check if there was anything new. My intention was no longer even to see something specific, it was as ridiculous as seeing if there was anything new.

This was no longer a simple mania, it really affected my day to day life.

And that's because FOMO....

• Impairs emotional wellbeing and is linked to mental health problems such as anxiety and stress (Baker et al., 2016; Stead & Bibby, 2017).

• It creates dependence on social media, mental fatigue and makes you compulsively check for updates (Przybylski et al., 2013; Blackwell et al., 2017).

That is how harmful it can be to feel like a spectator and not a participant in what others enjoy.

FOMO in marketing

FOMO has found a comfortable home in the marketing world. The strategy is simple: generate a sense of urgency with carefully chosen phrases.

• ‘Offer valid today only!’

• ‘Only 3 units left!’

• ‘Limited time only!’

• ‘Last chance!’

In reality, there is no shortage, it's all a perception to generate FOMO, but that's how they try to sell us almost everything. If you don't believe me, take a look at this letter in which I reveal the techniques they use in online marketing on a daily basis.

Destroy FOMO

If, as I used to do, you experience FOMO, try these techniques:

Disconnect from the outside to reconnect with your inner self.

Limit your time on networks, remove all notifications or delete them altogether.

I used Freedom to block those sites. The less time you spend looking at what's going on outside, the more time you'll spend cultivating your true purpose and doing what fulfils you. Pure mathematics.

Enjoy missing out on things

That's JOMO, the Joy of Missing Out (Leunig, 2017).

Instead of regretting not going to a party, celebrate the time you have gained to disconnect and cultivate your passions.

I do this more and more in my journal. In the evenings, I write about the moments that really fulfil me and how they made me feel, writing about this is knowing how to choose what matters to me and being happy for all that I missed. Like recently, when I spent 2 nights in the countryside with friends, observing the comet Tsuchinshan.

A comet that will not be seen again for centuries.

Magical and ephemeral.

I said it once and I believe it, ‘choosing one thing means giving up another, and that giving up is what gives value to the decision, it is what defines us and makes us love our path’.

Missing out on the rest just reaffirms that I am aligned with my purpose.

FOMO is long dead.

✍️ Your turn: How many times have you allowed FOMO to influence your decisions? During my teenage years it directed my resolutions, but not anymore.

💭 Quote of the day: ‘...and you'll end up missing the little things, the moments you think don't matter to you... but they do. Moments that make you forget everything else.’ Dustin Thao, You've Reached Sam.

See you next time and don't miss the really good stuff 👋.

References 📚

1. Blackwell, D., Leaman, C., Tramposch, R., Osborne, C., & Liss, M. (2017). Extraversion, neuroticism, attachment style and fear of missing out as predictors of social media use and addiction. Personality And Individual Differences, 116, 69-72. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2017.04.039

2. Baker, Z. G., Krieger, H., & LeRoy, A. S. (2016). Fear of missing out: Relationships with depression, mindfulness, and physical symptoms. Translational Issues In Psychological Science, 2(3), 275-282. https://doi.org/10.1037/tps0000075

3. JWT. (2011). Fear Of Missing Out. http://web.archive.org/web/20121113001021/http://www.jwtintelligence.com/production/FOMO_JWT_TrendReport_May2011.pdf

4. Leunig, M. (2017, 15 julio). JOMO. Leunig. https://www.leunig.com.au/works/recent-cartoons/769-jomo

5. Przybylski, A. K., Murayama, K., DeHaan, C. R., & Gladwell, V. (2013). Motivational, emotional, and behavioral correlates of fear of missing out. Computers In Human Behavior, 29(4), 1841-1848. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.chb.2013.02.014

6. Stead, H., & Bibby, P. A. (2017). Personality, fear of missing out and problematic internet use and their relationship to subjective well-being. Computers In Human Behavior, 76, 534-540. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.chb.2017.08.016

7. Thompson, E. A. (2006). The tulipmania: Fact or artifact? Public Choice, 130(1-2), 99-114. https://doi.org/10.1007/s11127-006-9074-4