I also suppose there is a change in what one perceives as normal. If we imagine a spectrum between 0 and and you find yourself at 0.7 and think conducts between 0.6 and 0.8 are ok. If. You start behaving at 0.62, then the normal boundary will shift to 0.52 to 0.72, and so forth... until you are at a place you never expected to be. Soon, you could be at a 0.3, far from what you ever found acceptable.
Comedian-singer Tim Minchin wrote a song about this shift in his romantic life and what would happen if he had to find a new partner. Funny, weird, and insightful.
It's just like that, you said it perfectly. That's how you end up doing what you swore you would never do, because the regret is so small when the change is so gradual. That's why you have to look at yourself in retrospect or every so often to see if your behaviors match who you want to be. At least it will help you not to lose yourself so easily.
I suppose on the other hand desirable changes can also happen this way, like getting in better shape, or controlling how much one engages in harmful behaviors.
“It's easier to stand by your principles 100% of the time than it is to stand by them 98% of the time, because once you give in, giving in again is easier.”
We talk about this a lot in the diabetic support groups. It’s easier to stick on “the plan” than to come off and on with “cheat days” etc. If you know why you’re doing the thing you’re doing , and what the consequences of not doing it are, it should be easier to make your decision. Of course it isn’t…. But the concept is true.
For example, 10 months ago I decided to only eat meat, to manage my diabetes better. I was doing great until Thanksgiving, when I had “just a piece of gluten free pie” at my friend’s house. Sugar cravings returned. After all that time. One piece of pie after 10 months. Then I went to a party and had “one sliver of a piece of pizza”. The slippery slope begins. I was in bed for a whole day after.
For me, as in this example, when the outcome seems so clear, it’s easier for me to understand why 100% is better than 99%. (I decided I’m returning to my diet despite it being the holidays. I’m not turning one day in bed to more of that.)
But for actions, like you said, that do not have obvious immediate negative results, that can be the challenge. It’s worth considering the long term outcome before you “make the harmless move”. But it might be easiest if all to just stick with your 100% and not have to worry about the consequences later.
I also suppose there is a change in what one perceives as normal. If we imagine a spectrum between 0 and and you find yourself at 0.7 and think conducts between 0.6 and 0.8 are ok. If. You start behaving at 0.62, then the normal boundary will shift to 0.52 to 0.72, and so forth... until you are at a place you never expected to be. Soon, you could be at a 0.3, far from what you ever found acceptable.
Comedian-singer Tim Minchin wrote a song about this shift in his romantic life and what would happen if he had to find a new partner. Funny, weird, and insightful.
Hi! :)
It's just like that, you said it perfectly. That's how you end up doing what you swore you would never do, because the regret is so small when the change is so gradual. That's why you have to look at yourself in retrospect or every so often to see if your behaviors match who you want to be. At least it will help you not to lose yourself so easily.
I suppose on the other hand desirable changes can also happen this way, like getting in better shape, or controlling how much one engages in harmful behaviors.
“It's easier to stand by your principles 100% of the time than it is to stand by them 98% of the time, because once you give in, giving in again is easier.”
We talk about this a lot in the diabetic support groups. It’s easier to stick on “the plan” than to come off and on with “cheat days” etc. If you know why you’re doing the thing you’re doing , and what the consequences of not doing it are, it should be easier to make your decision. Of course it isn’t…. But the concept is true.
For example, 10 months ago I decided to only eat meat, to manage my diabetes better. I was doing great until Thanksgiving, when I had “just a piece of gluten free pie” at my friend’s house. Sugar cravings returned. After all that time. One piece of pie after 10 months. Then I went to a party and had “one sliver of a piece of pizza”. The slippery slope begins. I was in bed for a whole day after.
For me, as in this example, when the outcome seems so clear, it’s easier for me to understand why 100% is better than 99%. (I decided I’m returning to my diet despite it being the holidays. I’m not turning one day in bed to more of that.)
But for actions, like you said, that do not have obvious immediate negative results, that can be the challenge. It’s worth considering the long term outcome before you “make the harmless move”. But it might be easiest if all to just stick with your 100% and not have to worry about the consequences later.