Top 5 most common regrets before people die

The touching story of Bronnie Ware

🏷️ Categories: Life lessons, Literature, Time, Happiness

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No two lives are the same.

Life is full of decisions and each one will take you to different and unpredictable places.

However, in the final moments, when we are faced with death, the paths begin to converge. Strangely, many arrive at the same place: a feeling of deep regret for not having lived the life they wanted. How can this feeling be so common?

Bronnie Ware, a nurse who gave body and soul to caring for people at the end of their lives, wrote a book ("The Top Five Regrets of the Dying") where she reveals the 5 most common regrets these patients told her before they left.

There are pages of this book that made me wet.

They got wet because of the tears I shed.

Ware, B. (2012). The Top Five Regrets of the Dying

1. "I wish I had had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me."

It is sad to look back and see that you haven't lived according to your own desires and aspirations.

Many people, at the end of their lives, regret having had an unsatisfying marriage, choosing a career to please their parents, or denying their true interests because of "what will people think of me."

And you, is your life headed towards your true desires?

2. "I wish I hadn't worked so hard."

Work to live or live to work?

Bronnie Ware listened to people lamenting that they had missed important moments with their children and partners because they were working much more than necessary. They traded once-in-a-lifetime events for a bit more money, only to realize later that they would have been happier with less.

Do you live a balanced life, or are you overextending yourself in some area that's taking away quality time with family and friends? Time takes its toll.

3. "I wish I had had the courage to express my feelings."

Sometimes we are not brave enough to express what we feel and be who we are.

Bronnie often heard, “I didn't express myself as I truly am because I was afraid of others' reactions.” We often suppress our emotions and personality to fit in, paying the price of not allowing the life we truly want to flourish.

And you, do you express yourself as you really feel, or do you hold back because of "what will people think of me"?

4. "I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends."

There are those who, as they move forward in life, due to responsibilities, routines, and distance, end up drifting away from their friends.

I've heard this lament from several people I know: "I got along very well with him, but I haven't heard from him in a long time." I have experienced this too. One day I remembered an old high school friend and couldn't find his phone number anywhere. After searching on social media and calling all the mutual friends we could have, I finally managed to locate him and we reconnected.

The reunion was an indescribable feeling, I have no other words for it.

The passage of time distances you (without you realizing it) from those who were once friends and no longer are. I know I'm not the only one this has happened to, but I learned my lesson.

I am still reconnecting with many old friends, and the satisfaction fills me up.

5. "I wish I had let myself be happier."

Many of Bronnie's patients uttered these tremendous words.

We often get caught up in routines that don't fulfill us, and we end up settling into discomfort like someone with a chronic but tolerable pain. This is how we stop seeking passions and life goals that fill us with energy and satisfaction.

Time passes, that's obvious, but saying "I'm too old for this" is just an excuse.

My mother lived in a time when not everyone could go to school, and unfortunately, she dropped out very early. She can barely write and makes numerous spelling mistakes, but a few months ago I said to her:

— Mom, have you thought about learning to write now that you have so much time?

She has been spending weeks with a pencil in hand, working on spelling workbooks. Her goal is to learn to write well and read fluently.

It's never too late.

💭 It's your turn: what things have you regretted and tried to change before it's too late?

✍️ Quote of the Day: "Pity not the dead, Harry, pity the living, and especially those who live without love." Dumbledore, by J.K. Rowling.

Thanks for being on the other side 🙏, a big hug, see you 👋.

References 📚

1. Ware, B. (2012). The Top Five Regrets of the Dying: A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing.